Delilah's World

Title: Flaws
Author: mjartrod
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Non-AU. Not a native English speaker.
Disclaimer: I do not own Muse but Robert is my creation.

Summary: Matt runs off to Nice. He was going to spend some time with Dom but meets someone else instead...

Author's Notes: So this was an excuse to write a bit of porn, based on a dream I had. Ended up turning into a bit more than porn. Title taken from the Bastille song with the same name.

A million thanks to millionstar for offering to beta. It was such an honour :-)






Cap d’Antibes, July 2014

Matt’s eyelids fluttered when a naked body behind his stirred and press closer, spooning him. Dom’s, his sleep addled brain registered. His back ached slightly from perhaps a less comfortable position he’d been in and he had a numb arm but he was too content to adjust it. There was dim sunlight surrounding them, of typical early summer morning, but not enough to bother the Muse frontman. It was quiet and peaceful, the birds chirping and the waves rolling and washing over sand on a beach lulling him back to sleep. It was nice.

“Good morning…”

The whisper in Matt’s ear was followed by a gentle sway of hips and the pressing of morning wood against his backside. Dom’s hand reached over to his front and curled around his cock. He sighed. There were other things which were definitely better than sleep, he considered.

They had lazy morning sex, languorous kisses exchanged as orgasms built slowly, both easily timing their pace so they could come at the same time. While they lay together catching their breath afterwards, the blurriness of early morning began to fade and more pertinent matters arose. He’d just had sex with Dom. The night before too, he recalled.

“Dom,” Matt’s eyes narrowed and focused. “What the fuck are we doing in a tent?”

“Your idea. You don’t remember?”

“My idea?”

“Something about too long since the last time you had tent sex when you came across the bag in the yacht,” he chuckled. “Like I was going to argue with that.”

“You fucking knobhead.”

Rolling to the other side and over Dom, he propped himself on his elbows, reaching for the tent's zip. Shielding his eyes from the sun, he peeked out. Beach, bay, blue sky, woods. Dom’s yacht anchored at a short distance swim.

“Yes, we are in the French Riviera.” Dom confirmed, languidly stretching his arms above his head on the floor, yawning. “In a tent. As always, you get the most bizarre ideas when you’re drunk.”

Matt quickly zipped up again and scanned the floor searching for clothes, as his mind assessed his current predicament at the speed of light. He was naked in a tent with his bandmate, in a beach, in the exclusive Côte d’Azur – where paparazzi sprouted from behind every tree with telephoto lenses capable of capturing every spot on his face. One snap and his life could be turned upside down.

“Matt,” Dom placidly watched him scurry for a pair of swimming trunks. “Matt, you can chill out. There’s nothing around us. It’s just mansions and woods. Most of it is private. Matt!”

“This is all your fault.”

“My fault? Exactly what is my fault?!”

Matt pulled on his shorts, the material persistently sticking to a patch on his thigh.

“And how many fucking times I’ve told you to wear a condom? Fuck knows where you’ve been.”

He stomped out of the tent, leaving Dom to punch the floor in annoyance.

“Yes, why not start the day by acting like a complete wanker!”

Ignoring the drummer, Matt marched over the peddle to the edge of the water. Diving into the crystal blue waters of the Ligurian Sea in the Mediterranean, blood boiling in his veins, he fully intended on going straight to Dom’s boat to seek refuge there.

The water cooled him down though and combined with the warm rays of sun stroking his face, his rage dissipated as he swam away from the beach. He stopped halfway through and swirled in the water to carefully inspect the surroundings. Dom had taken them to a cove in the rock-strewn Cap d’Antibes. Other yachts could be seen in the large bay but the small beach was so secluded that it was barely recognizable as such from where he was, let alone to someone sailing along the coast. The tent was the only sign of human life in the area. Surrounding the beach there were only rocks and the woods. If he looked closer, a roof could be seen peeking among the pine trees, no doubt belonging to one of the several villas scattered up the cliffs. He searched for light reflecting off a lens somewhere in the pedestrian paths cutting through nature, some sign of equipment… there seemed to be nothing noteworthy.

The motion of his body in the water created perfect concentric circles on the surface, which then travelled to the shore. An insect dropping could probably be seen from a kilometre away. Matt allowed himself to submerge and then surface again, dipping his head backwards and letting his body float weightlessly. Dom had been wrong the day before - he wasn’t paranoid and he could perfectly relax.

He’d flown on impulse to Nice, showing up at Dom’s door without as much as calling to see whether he’d be there. He hadn’t bothered to think about what he’d do if his bandmate was no longer in France. Dom was surprised yet happy to see him, having said goodbye to some guests only that same morning. He’d made a joke about his haircut, that Matt had gotten at the airport lounge while he waited for his flight, and then cautiously asked for Bing. He said nothing when Matt snapped that Kate had taken him with her to Miami, where she had another photoshoot.

That had happened two days ago and they hadn’t spoken since her departure to Heathrow that morning. She would be expecting him to call with an apology after the last row, which had ended with accusations shouted from both sides, tears and a chilling silence in the end. He could no longer recall who started it or what caused it this time. But for once he wasn’t going to be the first one to give in. He only wished he’d had the clarity of mind to take the train to go to his mother’s in Devon instead of hopping in a plane to go to Dom. To alcohol, parties, fun. Forgetfulness. And more mistakes, inevitably.

He could see the distant frame of the drummer in the beach, now beginning to take the tent down by himself, clearly not in a rush. It was almost like he was doing it on purpose. Everything about Dom irritated Matt at the moment, downright to the platinum hair that shone in the sun. Despite behaving like a puzzling mix of a teenager and a man going through a midlife crisis, Dom was still loved by everyone and never seemed to be criticized for anything. Unlike him, who got grief for everything. Even the tiniest, most irrelevant things. Dom had used moisturizer for years and nobody cared and yet the moment he’d gotten a brace to fix his wonky tooth (which he couldn’t be bothered to bring for the trip), something he’d secretly always wanted to do but couldn’t get the opportunity, he was met with judgmental blank stares.

He was deep in introspection when a large shadow going past in the water brought him to his current reality. There seemed to be something poking out of the water at short distance. He squinted, trying to get a better view but the sun made it difficult. It seemed triangular, dark, slick… he suddenly splashed, as the realization hit him.

Dom was contemplating how long until he finished his task, when he heard the commotion in the water and saw Matt swimming back to the beach as quick as he could, amidst lots of splashing. In his bewilderment, it took him a moment to realize that his bandmate was in full panic mode and he let his jaw agape before he sprinted towards the water himself. It barely covered his knees when Matt reached him though and he caught him in his arms, pulling him out, dragging him onto firm ground.

“What’s wrong? Matt, what it is! Are you okay?” His eyes ran his Matt’s whole body but he couldn’t see blood or an injury of any kind.

“Shark. There’s… a s-shark.”

A shark? Dom stared at him in disbelief. There were sharks in the Mediterranean, not unheard of, but dangerous species especially in the French coast were so incredibly rare. Only a couple of incidents were registered over the course of dozens of years. Matt knew far too much about marine wildlife for Dom to discard the possibility straight away but it still seemed too far-fetched. But before he could ask anything else, a man in sports gear and tennis shoes was hopping down from the rocks and running to them. He’d literally came out of nowhere.

“Do you need help? Are you okay?” He kneeled next to the two men and grabbed Matt’s wrist without hesitation, checking his pulse. “I’m a doctor, I saw you rushing to get out of the water.”

Matt was out of breath and didn’t object. He was feeling slightly faint.

“Are you hurting anywhere?” He pulled Matt’s eyelids up, one after the other.

The singer shook his head. “I’m fine. Don’t go in the water.”

By then, Dom was looking out to the bay, trying to find the source of Matt’s alarm. He couldn’t see anything apart from a picture of peacefulness and serenity.

“Did you get a good look at it? Are you sure it wasn’t another animal?” The small pause in Matt’s breathing and immediate lack of reply told Dom all he needed to know. “You can see the bottom of the sea, it’s crystal clear.”

“I saw the fin.”

At that, the doctor opened his mouth in surprise and instantly stared at the water.

“Maybe it was a buoy or a rock,” Dom continued. “That’s why we can’t bring boats any closer, shallow waters here and too many rocks, you can easily put a hole in the hull.” He turned to the newly arrival, who was now sitting back on his calves and helping Matt sit up.

“I saw it,” Matt insisted. “It was a shark’s fin.”

“I’m Dominic.” The drummer ignored him and turned to the man who introduced himself as a doctor and offered him a hand to help him up. “His name’s Matt. Thanks so much for coming to his aid. He’s fine, don’t worry, I’ll take it from here.” He grinned.

“Robert.” He followed the lead and introduced himself only with his first name as well. “It was nothing, came for a bit of hiking when I heard you. Sure hope we’re in safe waters! I was planning to go for a dip later. You sure you’re okay?”

Matt was still catching his breath. “Yeah yeah, thanks for your help.” He wasn’t going to argue anymore, not in front of a stranger and especially when it was quite possible Dom was right. He didn’t manage to get a good look at the shadow he saw either, which was probably a jellyfish, now that he looked back on it, and that was one of the reasons he panicked. He was beginning to feel utterly ridiculous.

“I’m staying at the Hotel du Cap,” Robert pointed in the general direction of the luxury hotel, located in the west side of the cape. “You’re welcome to join me for breakfast if you want to.”

“Cheers.” Dom replied. “Maybe another day. I reckon we’ll be anchored at the marina for a part of the day if you want to pop up for a drink, it’s not far from your hotel. We owe you for the scare!”

“Well who knows, I may take you up on that offer.”

They said goodbye and the man continued his path along the rocks, through the indistinct lane, glancing back towards them a couple of times before he disappeared from their sight completely. Dom stared down at Matt, hands on his hips. The singer was picking sea weed off his hair with a disgruntled expression.

“Are you gonna help me pack or do you need more time? Far from me to tell you about the benefits of working out but…” he clicked his tongue mockingly.

Matt flipped him a finger without even looking up.


The return to the yacht in the small rubber boat they used the previous night was quiet, Matt still suspiciously glancing around just in case there was something in the water other than jellyfish or buoys. Dom made fresh coffee before starting the engine and take them along the coast, to anchor at the port from where they’d departed the evening before.

Matt was replying to texts and e-mails in the deck when he showed up with a t-shirt on and flip flops.

“I’m gonna go and get some shopping done. You coming?”

“No.”

“Too afraid to find someone that asks for a picture, puts it on Instagram and then certain people may find out you’re here?”

Matt felt his cheeks heating. “Fuck you.”

“Thought so.” He laughed. “I’ve gotta tell you that of all forms of paranoia you’ve suffered throughout the years, this one’s definitely the least entertaining.”

And he left.

Leaving for a stroll in Juan-les-Pins before Dom came back, Matt was checking real estate in the area out of curiosity, when someone tapped him on the shoulder. The dread that assailed the pit of his stomach disappeared when they spoke and Matt recognised the deep baritone voice before turning to face the man in question.

“Hello.”

“Oh, hi.” Matt smiled back in genuine relief, pushing his  blue shades to the top of his head. Robert looked different now, casual but more poised. He reminded him of a Clooney version of a doctor. Polo shirt, dark, graying hair slicked to one side. He was probably in his forties, with a bigger build than him and Dom and apparently in better shape than either of them too.

“I know, I look different.” He looked down at himself, realizing Matt had glanced him up and down.

“No, I’m pretty good with faces.”

“So Matt, what have you been up to? Seen more sharks?”

Matt laughed and scratched the back of his neck. “I think it’s wise not to alert the local authorities for now.”

“Good to know, good to know. Hanging out on your own? Boyfriend having a nap at the boat?”

“Oh,” Matt quickly shook his head. “Not boyfriend, just bandmates. Just enjoying some time off.” The look of surprise on his face made Matt fear whether Robert had seen anything that tipped him towards that line of thought.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to s-”

“No, ‘s fine.”

They laughed and before he was asked about something that he didn’t want to talk about, Matt spoke first. “You’re American, yeah? You’re on holidays? Sorry for putting you on work mode this morning.”

“Oh, it’s part of the job.” He waved it off with his hand. “I’m a cardiologist, I’m here for a week for a bit of sun and beach. Don’t get much of this in Atlanta.”

“No, I guess you don’t.”

“Listen, I have an appointment now but…” he paused, before glancing at Matt head to toe and this time it was a loaded gesture. “About that drink you owe me…”

Matt smiled, amused. That was unexpected. “I said Dom wasn’t my boyfriend. I didn’t say I wasn’t attached.”

“Ah, damn, sorry.” He grinned. “I was that obvious, uh? It’s a she?”

“It’s a she.”

“But she’s not here or am I wrong?” He grinned.

Matt stalled. Cheeky. He’d just told the man he was in a relationship. “You can join us for a drink on Dom’s boat.”

“What if I asked you out for dinner?”

Matt couldn’t help but burst in giggles. If he’d been afraid at first that the American had seen something indiscreet that morning, he was now convinced the man was just foolish.

“I’m completely serious. Not as in a date, I promise.” He smiled in what Matt was positive were his bedroom eyes.

“Why?”

“Why not? I’m on my own, would like to chat some more with you and you owe me for this morning.”

“And why do I owe you?”

“Well, your not-boyfriend said you did so I’m holding onto that promise. I’m sure he won’t mind if you’re not around for a meal tonight.”

He was persistent.

Matt was still peeved at Dom and again he wondered whether he should just go back to Teignmouth, so strong was the appeal of wandering around inconspicuously and the chance to get his mind off things without the temptation of doing anything stupid. At the moment though, any distraction was welcome.

“Alright, one drink.” He conceded. “I’ll meet you at your hotel’s lobby for a drink, is that okay with you? Seeing as I owe you apparently.” He chuckled.

“Ah, taking pity on a lonely man. I knew you had a good heart, Matt.” Robert said, placing a hand on his own chest playfully. “I can always tell a good hearted man from distance.”

“Part of the job too, is it?”

“Of course.”

“Not as a date,” Matt reminded him.

“Of course not.”

“I’m going out,” Matt told Dom. “Call if you want something.”

“So that’s why you wanted to come back to the marina so soon. You could’ve said-“ he stopped mid-sentence as he took in Matt’s frame. “You’re going out.”

He rolled his eyes. “That’s what I bloody said.”

“No, you’re going out, out. You dressed up.”

Matt looked down at himself, as he finished rolling up his sleeves. “It’s a black shirt and trousers.”

“Precisely.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

Dom was getting on his nerves again. While Matt hid in the shade most of the afternoon, unable to focus on his book, thoughts constantly straying to other more serious matters that he really didn’t want to think of, Dom had lay in the sun with his aviators on and drink in hand, the picture of effortless coolness as usual. He’d made plans with a couple of mates to go to a club in Juan-les-Pins and Matt wasn’t looking forward to a night of boredom while they hooked up with random slappers, undoubtedly far too young for them. Maybe he would end up dining with the other guy after all, just for the sake of having someone else’s company. He’d already been checking flights anyway and there was a couple of options the following day, departing from Nice.

Robert wasn’t at the lavish lobby when he arrived so he settled for ordering a glass of red at the bar as he waited, checking out the atmosphere. He was pretty sure he’d already seen Sharon Stone walk by. He’d never stayed there before but it seemed like a good choice for a hotel. The villas that he’d seen in a flyer seemed brilliant. Private pool and gardens, lots of space for the kids to play… he unconsciously swerved his eyes to his phone on top of the coffee table. It was past lunchtime in Florida. She could’ve called if she’d wanted. She didn’t. He pocketed the phone, ignoring his mother’s SMS asking where he was, to add to the missed call from before.

“Sorry, I’m late,” a pleasant Dior scent filled the air. “I got you a drink to make up for it.”

“Thought I was the one who owed you?” Matt cocked his head to one side jokingly when he looked at the other man. He was offering him a glass of the same red Matt had been drinking. He’d brought one for himself too.

“I’m glad you came. 1-0 for me.” He winked, taking a sip of his wine. “Excellent choice, by the way. I see you know your red.”

“What do you mean?” Matt furrowed his brow. “You mentioned dinner.”

“No, you proposed a drink at your bandmate’s yacht. In the end, I got you to come on your own for a drink at my hotel. Sounds like a win for me.” Robert grinned. “You do have an admirable poker face, I’ll give you that. Come, let’s go to another bar. The Champagne Lounge has a fantastic terrace and there’s less people looking on, which benefits both you and me.”

Matt didn’t know what to say. He followed him in silence, stunned at the revelation his host was perhaps more cunning than he gave him credit for.

“After you,” he rested a hand on Matt’s lower back to politely steer him towards the doors and out they went.

The terrace was indeed stunning. Overlooking the Mediterranean, it was both inviting and intimate. Bathed in sunshine, the sea scintillated with the reflection and it was difficult to tear the eyes away from it. Directly below the bar, the hotel’s sea pool accommodated a few guests. They chose to retreat under the large sunshades.

“So tell me about yourself.” Robert reclined in his wicker chair and crossed an ankle over his knee.”You’re English, you must be successful because luxury doesn’t seem a novelty for you, you like good wine… You said you were in a band with your friend?”

Matt hesitated. He didn’t have how to get away from that, the topic would obviously come up.

“Listen, I get why you’re cautious but you really don’t need to.” He pulled out his wallet and showed Matt what was evidently a family photo. A pretty blonde woman with medium length hair and bright smile stood by his side, the couple embracing a boy and a girl between them, who also smiled. It seemed like the perfect family. “This is my wife, Anna. My son, Andy, he’s 15, and my daughter Brittany, she’s 13.”

In another occasion, Matt would be tempted to pull out his iPhone and show him pictures of Bing. He felt a lump in his throat as he recalled that he hadn’t talked to him in almost three days. He missed him so much.

“Anna thinks I’m on a golf tournament.” Robert continued. “She doesn’t know I’m bisexual either and I have no intention of telling her. What for? I love her and my family, we’re happy and I’d do anything for them. But what can I say, I like to have a week for myself once in awhile. Nobody’s perfect.” He shrugged. “I also enjoy plenty of success in my field and I’m a member at my hospital’s board of directors. We’re all a bunch of hypocrites and if having affairs isn’t a novelty, certain sexual choices wouldn’t go down as well.” He leaned back and rested his elbows on the armrests. “So I have a lot to lose, as you see. It’s not just you.”

“Sorry if I came off as self-absorbed,” Matt said. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Not at all. Just wanted to let you know that I sympathize with your struggle. It’s better than saying ‘you can trust me’. Sounds a bit corny, doesn’t it?”

Matt laughed.

“So tell me, because I really am curious: you play the piano. Yes or no?”

They chatted lightly about travelling, wine, family life. Robert ordered a bottle of one of the bar’s signature champagnes and lit up a Cuban cigar, Matt declining the latter offer. By the time a waiter came to collect the empty bottle, they were enjoying a pleasant drowsiness.

“You’re not regretting coming here.” The doctor observed after a moment of quietness.

“Nah, I would’ve left if I did.” Matt said truthfully. “Good vibe here, what can I say. Really like the hotel, too. A bit old school, you know? But lovely.”

“Can we call it a date then?” Robert’s voice lowered and he fixed his gaze on Matt. “You’re mistaken if you think I give up that easily.”

“No chance, sorry mate.” Matt grinned. “I mean, nothing against you. I’m sure you do well.”

“I still think I can change your mind.”

“Yeah? What makes you think I would?”

“I know what you like.”

The air seemed to thicken. He’d gone on to guess correctly a number of things about Matt during their conversation and once again he wondered what exactly his companion saw that morning.

“You think I’m bi too?”

“That’s not what I said, although you strike me as someone who enjoys… dabbling.” A smirk played across his lips. “I said I know what you like. In bed.”

He oozed confidence and the low, deep voice made the hair on Matt’s arms stand on end. Stupidly, he found himself secretly flattered that Robert seemed to fancy him.

These days he was mostly immune to women who’d take an interest. Perhaps not immune, as he could very well appreciate a round, firm bum. But he was certainly unaffected. Not that it was a bad thing, far from it, it made his life much easier. Most were teenage girls or middle aged mothers anyway, fans of the band. But not even a striking woman he’d meet at parties here and there, keen on getting involved with a successful musician, would stir him like it used to in the past.

This was slightly more intriguing. And just because he didn’t intend on following up on any advances, it didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy the attention. It was easy to understand how the American would charm his way into someone’s bedroom.

“You can drop the poker face you know.”

Matt shrugged. “Dunno what you mean. It’s just my face.”

“Such a pretty one too.”

“Bollocks,” he chuckled.

“I think you have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.”

“Is this how you usually do it?” Matt’s hands motioned to encompass their surroundings.

He paused. “It’s different every time. I’d say it works better with less successful, more impressionable young guys. Of course there are those who are looking for exactly the same thing you are and you just hit it off. Other times, you simply pay for it.”

“I don’t fit in any of those.”

“No, I don’t think you do.”

“But you thought I did? Was it the sharks?” He smiled.

He laughed. “No, I never took you for an innocent, if that’s what you mean. In fact, I’m convinced you’re the opposite. Underneath that simple, understated façade there’s a very wicked side… we just have to strip the layers until we get there, isn’t that right?” Leaning back with his champagne flute, he let his eyes roam over Matt, lounging on his own sofa. “Your friend catches people’s eyes if you’re looking for what he’s advertising. And then we have you. A very attractive man who doesn’t act on it. There’s something incredibly appealing about it. Remarkable that you seem unaware of it. Lucky woman, that  fiancée of yours.” He kept watching Matt over the rim of his flute. “Am I making you blush?”

“Course not.” But his body betrayed him. “Well, I probably am now.” It was amusing that Robert was trying to boost his ego by comparing him favourably to Dom, though.

“I thought a man like you would be used to compliments. I’m sorry, I don’t want to embarrass you. What we need is more wine. Good wine.” He reached forward to put his glass on the table. “Or you’d rather get something to eat?”

“No, I’m not hungry, it’s fine like this.”

“You prefer the alcohol then. Well, so do I. Tell you what, I’ve got a bottle of rose from my own vineyard in my room. Wanna see how it fares against your Californian one?”

“I’m quite comfortable here.”

“I’ve got a balcony. You’d be comfortable there. More private, too.”

“I don’t think so.” He chuckled.

“You’re afraid I might change your mind?”

The warm, velvety voice of the man tickled his senses. It wasn’t that Matt had any interest whatsoever in his proposition but he had to admit he was enjoying the flirting. “You can go get it and we’ll drink it here.”

“We have a deal. But only if you come with me to get it.”

Matt laughed. Did he think he was that daft?

“Fine. Then we’ll go to the Bellini bar so you can get to taste their cocktail named after him. You already pointed out you your connection with that name, it’s a sign you need to go there.”

“To be honest, I think I’ve had a few too many, you kept filling my glass.”

“Come on, don’t be a spoilsport.”

Matt gave in and they left the terrace to casually stroll across the gardens, Robert pointing and telling him about the various areas of the hotel, basically giving him a tour. They were going by a smaller building, when he pulled a key card and pushed the door open, inviting Matt in with nothing but a suggestive little smile.

“Why…” Matt stuttered, in confusion. “This isn’t the bar.”

“We went by the Bellini awhile ago. You were curious about the villas so we ended up getting past it so you could get a look. By coincidence, my room where that excellent rose is happens to be so much closer. Wonderful view to the Mediterranean too.”

Matt wasn’t sure what to say. He’d been completely led astray.

“Are you not confident in your own convictions? You can obviously leave whenever you want to.”

He’d been tricked but to turn away would simply be rude when the man was being a good host, wouldn’t it? What would be the worst thing that could happen anyway? It’s just a fucking drink. He stepped in full of bravado, hearing the click of the door being shut behind him.

The door to the balcony was open and he stepped outside, leaning on the rail. The sun was setting, the breeze turning chillier. Robert joined him, having produced a bottle and two glasses.

“This is from 2012. Excellent year. I’m very pleased with how it turned out.”

Matt stared at the rose liquid and his mind somehow drifted to Los Angeles and all the plans he’d made there. All the plans he’d made with her. About vineyards, wineries, brand name... about so many other things too. Many of those hadn’t yet borne fruit. Lately, he began to think it was unlikely they ever would.

Robert’s fingers brushed on his when he passed him the glass. Last one, Matt decided, and he’d be on his way out, before he was too far gone. Before the guy succeeded in getting him in the state he wanted and made a move. Alcohol impairment and self-control had never gotten along, made only worse by the deep voice that whispered silly flattery to lure him in. He wasn’t sure he trusted himself to avoid doing something incredibly stupid.

One last glass.


Two hours later


“Look,” Matt pointed unsteadily. He wasn’t sure why raising his arm felt different than usual. It usually required a certain effort because of gravity, but now it almost felt like it was dropping? “Know what that is, mate?”

“No, what are you seeing?” Came the calm, smooth voice.

“That’s a fin. You’ve got a shark in your room, man. I’m getting chased by sharks! All day long! What’s up with that?”

Robert smiled, standing from his armchair. Opposite him, Matt was lying on the floor, doubled over in laughter. He’d been pointing at the triangular shape of the balcony’s ceiling lamp.

“Do you think I should call the coast guard?” He stared down at Matt, lifting the cigar to his mouth for another puff.

“Fucking hell, Rob, you’re pissed. It was a joke, it’s obviously not a real one!” He rubbed at his eyes. “Have you ever wondered… ever wondered how they’re both predators and prey?”

Robert crouched down when Matt began rambling about illegal capture of sharks and other endangered species, gesticulating broadly and gracefully, and gently interrupted him by placing the cigar between Matt’s lips. The way his cheeks hollowed as he delicately puffed and blew out the smoke, savouring the taste, fascinated Robert. “Don Pepin Garcia. My favourites,” he breathed.

“Oh yeah, it’s quite good, isn’t it? Pretty spicy. But yeah, about the shark,” Matt rolled over and staggered outside, confused in regards to the whereabouts of the fin. “What the fuck? Where is it? It was right here. Did you move it?”

It elicited another smile from Robert, who followed Matt outside, abandoning the cigar in an ashtray. The singer’s eyes drifted to him and then dropped to the lower half of his body, widening a little. There was no mistaking the bulge in his trousers.

“Feeling a bit uncomfortable down there, are you?” There was a devilish glint in Matt’s blue eyes.

Walking up to him, Robert placed a hand on the wall beside his head, closing the gap between the two. “Extremely uncomfortable. And yeah, it really is as big as it seems. Why don’t you see for yourself?” And without further warning, he grabbed Matt’s hand and pressed it against his crotch.

“Fucking impressive,” Matt slurred. He didn’t move it but made no effort to withdraw either. “You should get someone to help you out with that.”

“I should yes, seeing as you’re not available,” he began rubbing himself on Matt’s hand, words coming out through gritted teeth. “Shame. I thought a man like you would like to get someone else to do all the work once in awhile. The seduction, the leading, being made to do things you normally wouldn’t do…”

“Take the edge off, is it?”

“Knew you’d catch on…”

Robert reached out open mouthed, full hard lips capturing Matt’s in a brutal kiss, commanding tongue tearing a gasp out of him. Taking Matt’s face between his hands, closing his fingers around tufts of hair, he shifted him whichever way he pleased. It was dominant, expert, thorough kissing. He pressed himself against Matt’s front, pinning him to the wall.

“I bet I’m not the only one who needs a bit of help below the waist.”

A bold hand cupped Matt through the fabric, rubbing him firmly before reaching for his belt and then inside his trousers. In a haze of lust, his head clouded with need, Matt realised Robert was kneeling at his feet. Trousers and pants were pushed down to his ankles in a swift, unceremonious move.

A sound of appreciation from below reached his ears as skilled fingers continued to tug at him hard and fast, applying just the right pressure. A condom was rolled on his cock and then he was being swallowed by a warm mouth. Head plunging backwards against the wall, he bit his own lower lip so sharply that he wondered for a moment whether he’d drawn blood. The pair of hands had moved to his buttocks, squeezing the flesh as Robert sucked him, and it was all happening faster than Matt could keep up with.

He almost tripped on his own clothes on the floor when he was steered inside to the couch, fully undressed.

“Sit,” Robert instructed. He quickly disposed of his own trousers and underwear, not bothering with the shirt. When he turned to Matt again, he was sliding his hand up and down his shaft over a condom. “You like to suck cock too, don’t you?” He put one foot on the cushions next to Matt, his crotch coming in near proximity with Matt’s face. His eyes widened when he felt Robert’s hand at the back of his neck. “You can go slow if you want to.”

Matt couldn’t look away from the solid erection. It was bigger than what he was used to. Long and thick and Robert was already pushing the tip against his face, until he opened his mouth and wrapped his lips around it. He’d never given a blowjob with a condom before. The texture and the fake minty flavour of the latex didn’t make for a particular pleasant experience. He held the base while licking him and spreading moisture to make the motions slicker, testing how far he could take him in without gagging.

“Oh yeah, do that again but with more pressure...oh, yeah.” The sigh was accompanied by gentle thrusts, the grip on the back of Matt’s neck tightening as the tension built. “That’s good, let’s shake it up a bit now.” He slid off Matt’s mouth, who released him with a small popping sound. “I’m gonna lie down, give you a bit more room to work.”

“Lazy motherfucker.”

“You won’t be saying that later, I promise you that... Come on …” He stretched out on his back on the chaise longue, Matt kneeling on the carpeted floor to reach out for his erection again. “No, no. I want you on top of me, get on the couch. Let’s see if I can return the blowjob at the same time. A knee on each side of me, come on.”

Their heights didn’t match, Matt was significantly shorter. Robert’s hands splayed over his buttocks instead, groping and massaging, a loud slap making Matt groan around his cock. Then he spread his cheeks apart and slid both thumbs to the crevice, up and down, teasingly. He could feel Matt’s breathing becoming more laboured, sweat dampening his skin, the rhythm of his mouth on him more erratic. One thumb slid lower and stopped over his opening, pressing down until it dipped in. When he removed it, it was only to be replaced with a saliva coated index finger, sliding inside in one motion. Matt hummed loudly, lifting his head up and bucking his hips, rubbing his cock down on Robert’s chest.

“Let’s move to the bed, Matt, let me up.”

Matt got off him obediently but didn’t make it to the bedroom. There were wine bottles on the floor and the one near the armchair wasn’t empty yet. He crawled in its direction, rubbing his jaw before gulping down half of what remained. Letting his gaze fall on Robert, who was finally discarding his own shirt on the sofa, he took in the toned arms, the defined six-pack, the muscular thighs. Light chest hair was barely visible in the tan skin.

“Why don’t you give that back so we can leave it for later?” Robert motioned to the bottle.

“No. ’s mine now.”

Wobbling dangerously as he stood up, Matt made a show of keeping the bottle away from Robert’s reach, high pitched giggles echoing loudly in the darkened room. Grabbed from behind when he lost his balance, he slumped clumsily in a heap on the armchair with the other man, who made him sit on his lap, facing away from him.

“Fuck … I’m off my face… and it’s your fucking fault, don’t think I don’t know you were trying to get me pissed up.”

“Mmm, was I? Thought I was trying to get you in my bed.” Robert slid both hands to Matt’s inner thighs, stroking him and playing with the sparse dark hair, inching up to his groin. “Did you know this is my favourite part of a man’s body…” Hot breath on his skin, he fastened his mouth behind Matt’s ear, sucking lightly on his earlobe while he parted his thighs wider. “So warm and sweaty and intimate.”

With a hand on his cock, languorously touching himself, Matt dropped his head back against the other man’s shoulder after taking another swig of wine. Lightheaded with arousal and all too aware of the shape and the heat of Robert’s erection rubbing up against his arse, he allowed the other man to get hold of the bottle, who borrowed it for a sip, before returning the rim back to Matt’s lips. Deep purple liquid accidentally spilled down his chin, trailing down his throat and dripping to his chest.

"Fucking hell, you're bloody letting it go to waste." Matt licked his own lips, wiping at his chin with the back of the hand.

“Don’t worry, I’m not… tastes even better on you.” His tongue swiped over Matt’s red stained lips, over the curve of his throat, catching every drop he found.

The grazing of light stubble mixed with the return of a hand to his thigh to tease him gave Matt shivers. The other came to rest on his chest, twisting a nipple between his fingers. Matt twitched on his lap with a moan, his back arching, involuntarily rubbing down on Robert’s crotch. He desperately wanted Robert’s hand on his dick, but he was now holding Matt down with an arm around the waist while reaching between their legs to stroke himself. The head of his cock was pushing insistently between Matt’s buttocks, its full length fitting along the cleft of his arse, sliding up and down.

“Ride me, come on. You bottom, I know you do… do it, come on.”

Matt’s sense of coordination had been lost a long time ago. His head was swimming and it was so difficult to move. Skin slid on skin, moist with sweat, as he tried ineffectually to find a position without slipping. All of a sudden, Robert was yanking him up and towards the bedroom with astonishing strength, almost shoving him face down on the mattress.

Robert didn’t let him move, speaking as he squirted a copious amount of lube over his erection. “No, I want you on your knees. Spread your legs apart and stay on your knees. And…” He positioned himself behind Matt and planted a hand on the back of his neck, forcing him to keep his head down on the white sheets without propping himself on his elbows, his backside angling up. “Exquisite,” he held the tip of his cock to his entrance, tapping it a few times before pushing in slowly. “No, don’t move,” his hand shot to the back of his head again, keeping him in place. “I need. This.”

“Oh…” Matt squeezed his eyes shut.

“Easy, like this,” he soothed, slowly sliding deeper. He pulled back and then in again, Matt inhaling sharply. “Yeah, that’s it. That’s it, Matt, take it… yeah.... oh yeah, was dying to do this, couldn’t hold back anymore.” He held him down, penetrating him in a slow pace. “That’s it… oh god, couldn’t wait any longer. You’re so much tighter than I thought you’d be. Guess you don’t do this as often as I thought. So good… You need a good fuck, isn’t it, Matt... I know you do and you’re gonna get one…”

Matt couldn’t find the strength to utter a single word in that position. It was uncomfortable, blood rushing to his head, and he wasn’t getting the friction where he most needed it. Everything was blurry and there was no coherency left.

“I want to give it to you so good… you’ve never had dick like this before, I know you haven’t.  How much bigger than Dominic’s is it?”

“Not- oh!”

“Oh, yeah, there we go, that’s what I wanted. Those sweet little noises… do that for me, gonna make you do that all night…” The words came out in gasps, as he began to rock harder, slamming into him. “Just like I heard you when I caught you at it this morning with him. I heard you when I went hiking. I heard you two fucking… couldn’t see you but I stayed around and it paid off… couldn’t believe my luck when I saw you again in town.”

“I can’t… I... c-can’t…”

Robert stopped, letting his cock slip out and Matt’s knees gave out. He was panting, his muscles stinging. He was drenched in sweat. In the back of his mind there was something wanting to resurface, something that bothered him and made his stomach lurch. Something about being seen or heard but he couldn’t quite figure what it meant. Soon it didn’t matter anymore. He was flipped over, Robert lowering himself over him to reach for his mouth, pulling at his legs to get better access.

“Look at me, let me see you while we do it,” he brushed the sweaty strands of hair out of Matt’s forehead, caressing the side of his face. Fingers trailing over Matt’s lips, they probed until Robert found his tongue with the pad of a fingertip. Withdrawing to trace his lips again, he smiled hungrily at the way they glistened with wetness. “Look at me. Fuck, you’re so beautiful it hurts.”

He pushed in again and Matt’s breath hitched. He felt Robert stroking his prostate on the first thrust. And then again and again, in and out, a slow burning setting in, building stronger when Robert discarded the condom on Matt’s cock and curled his fingers around the flesh.

“Like that?

“Yeah, like that… yeah… harder…”

Matt drew his head down against the mattress and let his eyes roll to the back of his head. He lost track of everything. Pulled, tossed and used and he was far past caring. Not even when he was bent over the table, his wrists gripped together at the base of his spine, Robert pounding into him mercilessly from behind. It was hard and rough and he welcomed it, craved for more. It hurt but the mix of sensations blew him away, it was both punishment and payback; he wanted to howl in ecstasy and tears prickled behind his eyelids. It was toxic and poisonous and he fed on it and he didn’t want it to end.

There was nothing else.


A throbbing headache. That was what the first stream of consciousness brought Matt. Then, a sense of awareness. Or lack thereof. It wasn’t a novelty to wake up and have no idea where he was. It happened more often than he liked, the result of so many years on the road worldwide.

One sluggish eye opened and he didn’t recognize the room. He was alone in a bed, sore, naked… and it came to him. Flashes of champagne flutes in a bar, of a toast with rose wine in that same bedroom, of sex. Lots of sex with the posh American doctor with the baritone voice and the big dick. Blood froze in his veins. The recollections were vague but they were real. He covered his eyes with one hand, his head exploding with pain, his pulse racing for all the wrong reasons.

“Good morning.” Robert had just gotten in the room. “You’re awake? I went out for some breakfast. Didn’t want to wake you up but I need to leave in a bit for a meeting.”

Matt didn’t want to look. Seeing that man would make it all real and he desperately wanted to delude himself for a little longer that nothing had happened and it had all been a bizarre dream caused by too much alcohol consumption.

“Would be best if we weren’t seen together this morning,” Robert continued. “The hotel staff is very discreet, but it never hurts to be cautious.”

“I’m on my way,” Matt’s voice was hoarse, his mouth dry. He felt nauseous and it wasn’t because of the bad taste in his mouth or the smell of stale wine.

“I’ll be outside.”

Matt threw his clothes on barely aware of what he was doing, frantically looking for his phone. It laid on the floor with the battery almost flat, revealing a dozen missed calls and texts. He was on the verge of vomiting until he checked them all and made sure that none was a top priority. His head was spinning, he was physically aching everywhere and the sunlight made it almost unbearable to keep his eyes open.

He nearly collided with his host when he swung the door open to leave.

Robert was impeccably dressed, a wedding ring that had been absent the day before now shining in his finger as he held the phone to his ear. Matt felt his stomach turning again. He didn’t want to be this person. A liar, two-faced cunt, who put on a front of perfect family man to then sneak behind his wife’s back at every chance he’d get for anonymous shagging. She didn’t even know he was bisexual.

There were flaws. And there was blatant, conscious, unregretful deceiving. What he’d done was inexcusable, what he’d done… he didn’t know what he’d done or why. It’d been bad enough with Dom, but this had trespassed all limits. There was only one thing left to do now and that was not making everything even worse.

Dom was mopping the deck when Matt arrived at the marina after a sobering, agonizing twenty minute walk. Avoiding his eyes when Dom turned around and saw him, jaw dropping, he sprawled right there on the deck, rubbing his face wearily.

There was a cup of fresh juice being held in front of him coming out of nowhere and an aspirin was placed in his hand. Matt accepted both gratefully, Dom leaning back in the shade with his arms crossed in front of his chest, taking in his appearance.

“Want me to take you back to Nice?”

Matt only nodded.

“What time’s your flight?”

He looked up at Dom. Of course, he had guessed his plans. “Five.” Miami wasn’t really an option anymore, she’d be boarding the return flight the following day. Or was supposed to.


There was plenty of time until then so they went to Dom’s place first. Every minute seemed to last an hour. Matt wondered why hadn’t she said a word, why hadn’t he grabbed the phone to call her himself, how was he going to say everything he needed to say, where would they go next. It was a never ending torrent of thoughts, running madly in a loop in his head.

He was ready to leave and take a cab to the airport when he spotted one of Dom’s smaller cases on the floor next to the front door.

“By the way, I’m coming with you.” Dom spoke right behind him. “Don’t have anything lined up here and it’s been almost two months since I’ve last been to London. Andy wants to meet up too.”

He patted Matt’s shoulder as he went past him to arm the alarm and the singer shut his eyes. They both knew the true reason why Dom had decided to go to London on the spur of the moment – he would be there in case Matt needed him around. It was an odd thing to say, that it was easier to communicate without talking. But for Matt, it was like that with Dom. They were only vocal when it came to sniping at each other.

It was useless to be angry at Dom. He was always there, never passed judgment, always accepted Matt exactly how he was. No matter how ridiculous, brainless or wrong was what he demanded of him. Matt knew it, took it for granted – and then on top of it blamed Dom for his own shortcomings. He kept telling himself that he’d change, would stop making the same mistakes. Such as invariably ending up on each other’s bed when in crisis. It appeared to be a lesson he never learnt. It never broke anything, it never fixed anything either. But it shouldn’t have to be that way and it upset Matt that he couldn’t defeat that habit. When would he ever be perfectly capable of dealing with his own problems without involving Dom?


The house was exactly as Matt had left it three days before when he flew to France. No one had stepped foot inside, not even a maid. He slowly walked by every room, not bothering to switch the lights on. Never one to become sentimental about houses, it somehow seemed too soon to let this one go.

There was a fire truck plush toy lost in a corner in one of the hallways and he picked it up, dusted it off. Carrying it with him, his legs predictably led him to the piano room before he knew it. He sat on the stool, placing Bing’s toy on the lid. A fan had given it to him the year before. He remembered how they’d played with it for three days full before Bing lost interest and moved on to the next favourite toy. Matt was often accused of doing the same, of quickly getting bored of things and moving on to something else constantly. He fully admitted it could be true in regards to general subjects and material items; there wasn’t one particular object he could truthfully say he couldn’t live without. But it was so different with people, it always had been.

He rested his fingers on the keys; started out by playing an old Phillip Glass piece. It was quiet outside his head, there was only the piano and the rain that currently assailed London, raindrops hitting the windowpanes heavily. The music changed as he began to improvise, turning it into something else, something new.

Matt didn’t know for how long he’d been playing when he heard a familiar notification on his Iphone, wherever he’d left it in the house. He froze. He knew who it was, this one was customized. And then he sprung from the seat.

Unlocking the screen with shaking hands, he slid the message open.


We miss you.


He smiled. It would be okay. No matter what happened, it would be okay.

He stared at the screen for a moment before lying on the couch. And then, after taking a deep breath, he finally pressed the call key.




Fin